Medical Update

First of all, I want to thank each of you for your prayers. I know that the Lord has all things in control and He knows what He is doing, and I am trusting in that, but it sure is a blessed comfort to know that people are praying for me.
As far as the update, I am now 32 weeks pregnant and my OB doctor wanted me to see a neurologist as a consultation to see if there was anything MS-wise that they would need to be on a look-out for, or red flags, during delivery. I had to get a new neurologist to do this, because my old neurologist would not take the insurance that we now have. As we went Monday morning to consult with the neuro about what we thought was just a basic routine procedure to please the OB doctor, we were not even slightly prepared for what he told us.
As he came in and asked a LOT of questions and did a thorough examination, he then told us that although everything that has happened in 2008 is very symptomatic of MS, and he was not saying that I did not have MS, but that me waking up suddenly paralyzed from my waist down was not classic MS. Actually, he said that it can happen but that it is very rare - occurring in only about 3% of the MS population. Because of this fact, he said that he was most uncomfortable with saying that what happened on March 12 was because of MS. He was very disappointed that all medical people have been saying "this is MS, and this is awful, but this is the way it is." He said that although that may be the truth in the end, that he was in no way ready to say that right now and he thinks that something else may have happened on March 12 that is not related to MS. At least, he said that he had to pursue it before he would say it was because of MS.
He said that I needed to have an MRI so that we could see what was going on in my spine. I said, "Okay, as soon as the baby is born we will do that." He said that he really was not comfortable with waiting that long because the longer we wait, the more permanent damage might be done. So that led to the next question of "What could it be?" He listed about 15 things in about 30 seconds of possibilities from a blood clot in the spine to a tumor to bleeding in the spine, I can't even pronounce some of the other things he rattled off. Jimmy asked if my life was in danger and he said that he did not think so because it has been 3 months already. We asked if there was something that he found that was fixable, would that mean surgery and could that be done while I was pregnant? He said that yes, it would mean surgery and that we would have to decide what risk would be greater to us - me possibly never walking again, or the risk it may cause to our baby. This, to me, is an impossible question. He said that they may get in there and see something they can fix, or they may see something that they know they cannot fix, or they may see nothing and then we are right back to square one.
However, he told us that we needed to start with the MRI and he wanted to do one right away so we had one scheduled for last night. We had talked to our OB dr. and asked him if it was a risk to have an MRI and he said that he thought that we should do it. We prayed about it, sought some counsel and felt peace to go ahead with the Dr.'s decisions. We kept praying that the Lord would just keep our little baby safe. So, last night, we went to have the MRI done. To make a long story short, I was not able to have the MRI. If I lay on my back for more than about 5 or 6 minutes I begin to pass out. I have known this to be true at home in my own bed, so I was worried that I could make it through the MRI. I told the radiologist this and so she knew that it was a potential problem. Well, sure enough, I started passing out and I hadn't even been in there for 5 minutes and the whole procedure was to take an hour. The radiologist said that the baby is laying on my aorta and cutting off the blood supply to me and the baby and she did not want us to proceed any farther. I agreed knowing that I would just go in and pass out again. So, now we are not sure what will happen next.
The neurologist will want me to be induced early but we are not sure what the OB will think about it. I will talk to the neuro early Monday morning and I have an appointment with the OB on Monday at 10:30 a.m. Since we will be talking about inducing me early, we have to decide what the risk will be to the baby as compared to a chance they may end up finding that nothing can be done at all. If they decided for me to have the baby, I will have to change all plans on where to deliver as the hospital I was planning on delivering at is not equipped for early babies. This will mean another new doctor.
This has all been an emotional roller coaster for me - especially since I am not an emotional girl! I cannot stand the thought of bettering myself if it would hurt the baby. I don't think I could live with the guilt. On the other hand, if there is a chance for me to walk again, and I feel like the new neuro has given some hope, then I would be so very excited. I am afraid to get excited though for fear it won't happen and then I will have to deal with the major disappointment.
Having said all of this, we know that our lives and the life of our baby boy is in the Lord's hands. The very fact that I was passing out on the MRI table last night, was helpful and comforting to me. How? Because we had the green light from all the doctors, and we even felt peace about proceeding and we still feel like we made the right decision to get the MRI, but in the midst of all that, we know the Lord was looking out for us and the baby. Even though we felt a go-ahead about it, we have been praying that the Lord would keep the baby safe, and apparently He stopped the MRI in His own way. This is a comfort because it just reassured once more that He is in control and even in the last minute, He will make His way known. This is a comfort because there may be many more hard decisions to have to make, but the Lord knows our hearts and that we are seeking His face, and we know that He will take care of everything - no matter how everything turns out - it will be according to His will.
This has calmed my heart and I do not fear what decisions may have to be made. We do covet your prayers on our behalf. We KNOW that people are praying and I cannot thank you enough. Please keep it up and know that we love each of you and thank God for you being in our lives.